A Stepmother to 4 Lazy Geckos…

I’m so happy to take time to introduce 4 of the 5 smallest Geckos from their Stepmothers eyes! They are all so unique and wonderfully different in their very own way. All of them have incredible personalities, they have taught me many things and I am forever grateful for each and every onsuperlative_stepmom_poster-raa61482fe1504da285d03f926edf13e4_w2q_8byvr_512e of them. I met my four Stepchildren about 6 years ago (November 2009) and boy-oh-boy I had no idea what a crazy, insane, snuggly, exciting and bumpy ride it would be from that point on! Being a Stepmom does hurt at times. It requires dedication and willpower followed by making hefty decisions while also making sacrifices. If you don’t fall into certain temptations, like running for the hills lol, and you take your time you will find that it is all absolutely worth it!

 

 

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I would like to start off with Ashen, she is now 18 almost 19, when I met her she had just turned 13 years old. I was incredibly eager to meet her! She was the oldest of the bunch so I thought that we would have a lot in common due to her age and coming into the years where clothes and makeup would become her world. 😉 Since I’m a woman that enjoys that type of stuff I knew it would be easy to relate and I would enjoy embarking on that adventure with her! I also had a niece her age and we got along great so I felt safe meeting her. I learned about so many of the things she enjoys, like cooking, horses or any animal for that matter! Most of all dirtbikes, just like her Daddy! At that point she was basically the woman of the house I guess you could say. She did things like the dishes, cook the meals, laundry, cleaning up and watching the younger 3 after school while Dad (still single at the time) was at work. She did a lot for her age and did a wonderful job doing it. A special memory that I hold dear to my heart is the time when her father was deployed to Afghanistan, she helped me move houses.  Yeah..The whole house!! We had a blast honestly…From getting stuck in the storage unit elevator when it broke down between floors to sleeping on the floor of the new house..Setting up furniture and making silly late night runs to fast food restaurants because we were so sleep deprived and delirious. Not to mention, all the exercise we must have gotten from walking up and down a million stairs! I could go on and on…Ashen is now almost 19 and living in Cali, yes, I know, she is one lucky girl! She is absolutely beautiful and is well on her way to setting up a life for herself. I am incredibly proud of her and so excited for the adventures that she is about to set out on!

 

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Ashen taught me that even when things can seem tough and you don’t always get recognized for your actions, you should always continue to try your best for everyone!

 

11745604_908109945899433_8979966488542403867_nNow onto Meghan…Sweet little Meg. I have an incredibly easy time relating with Meghan! When I look back on the last 6 years I can see why. See, Meghan and I are so much alike. Trust me when I say that she is the sweetest, most kindhearted little go-getter you will ever meet. This girl is so self-driven. Meghan and I have shared many conversations as she loves to talk! What girl doesn’t?! This was perfect and just what I needed as I stepped into an unknown role. A quality that I enjoy most about Meghan is her intrinsic motivation. Ever since I’ve known her she has constantly strived to do her best, she accomplishes it beautifully! Not only is she is a straight A student, she always completes whatever she puts her mind to, she makes it look easy! Meghan is a special young lady. One thing that I cherish and hold dear to my heart is the way she loves her half brother, Rhys. Meghan showed me a love that I never saw before having my son. This girl loves him wholeheartedly, she doesn’t see that he has a different mother when she looks at him…she looks at him with unconditional love – the same look a mother has for her child. She is a natural! It’s incredible and just melts my heart. Rhys is so lucky to have her! I am so grateful for Meghan and know exactly why God put her in my life. I have no doubt that Meghan will be an amazing Mother and I cannot wait to watch her begin that journey later on in life.

 

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Meghan has showed me that not only can a stepparent love another child as their own but a half sibling can love another sibling just as their own too! Just like a step parent made the choice to love when they didn’t have too, so can siblings!

 

Oh Jessy! Silly, little, “Messy (not really) Jessy”! This girl is a blast…like seriously *always* fun to be around!! Jessica is the first out of the 4 kids that I spoke with over the phone before meeting them and now that I know her I can completely see why her Dad handed her the phone…Jessica is this little person that is so full of life, like completely bursting at the seams! She can make anyone feel welcome, even in the most uncomfortable situations that life throws at you. This girl is not afraid to be who she is and if you don’t like it she will tell you “too bad” because she loves who she is and is not afraid to show it! I like to call Jessica my “little sidekick”. She is always down for anything! SO…if you need a buddy to hang with this is the girl for you. It doesn’t matter if you want to chill in bed all day or spend the day

10378914_722387097805053_1759034848279923313_ndriving in circles because Jessica will be along for the ride no matter what it is. Some of my favorite times with Jess are moments cooking in the kitchen together. Now don’t get me wrong, Meghan and Trevor help too, but Jessica really pulled it together during my pregnancy and if it wasn’t for her, the family would have certainly gone without dinner a few times. At about 8 months, I would just pull a chair into the kitchen and direct everyone on what to do in order to execute dinner. See we aren’t the kind of family that eats, I guess you could say “simple dinners”. We like full-flavored dinners! You know, the kind where you make everything from scratch…even our salad dressings. She pulls it together like nobody else! She holds some amazing qualities and I have no question that she will live life to the fullest without any regrets!

 

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Having Jessica’s presence in my life reminds me that even though I did not give any of these kids the gift of life – life gave me the gift of them!

 

1524601_643992102311220_1407345868_nLast but certainly not least, Trevor! Now known as “big brother” Trevor!! I met Trevor at the adorable age of 3 years old. We really got to spend some quality time together which I think was perfect for our situation. After putting school on hold and quitting my job to move to California, the original plan was for me to start school again and look for another job. However, after realizing that staying home to watch Trevor would save about 1k a month in daycare and after school childcare fees and allow for Ashen to be relieved of many household duties, we decided that it would be better for me to stay home and watch Trev during the day. By doing so I got to spend time with him. This created a special bond between us, I realize now that this really prepared me for the day that I would have my own child. Trevor is really a special little man and the girl that steals his heart one day will be one lucky lady! See, Trevor has the heart, soul and spirit of his Father. His touch is gentle and his intentions are always meant to be good. This little guy is one of the most caring and giving people I have ever met. I have so enjoyed watching him grow while doing all the ‘boy’ things with his daddy, from taking out the trash all the way to replacing the engine in our F-150. Trevor has always been really well liked, not just by the guys, but the little ladies too…He will be a guys, guy and a women’s dream! 🙂

 

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What I learned from my time with Trevor is that even though you may not always get credit for all that you do, step-parenting really is just like parenting.

 

Everything that I have learned, all the lessons I’ve been taught by being a Stepmother have no doubt made me the Mother that I am today to Rhys. I am so grateful for every minute…The good, the bad, AND the ugly! My moments with these children have prepared me for the greatest thing I will do in life and that is become a Mother to my little boy. Ever since giving birth to Rhys I know exactly why God put them in my life and I am forever grateful for them, my husband and my baby boy. This is exactly where God wants me to be!

 

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Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs. Being genetically related doesn’t make you family. Love, support, trust, sacrifice, honesty, protection, acceptance, security, compromise, gratitude, respect and loyalty are what make you family.

Co-parenting – It’s not a competition between two homes. It’s a collaboration of parents doing what is best for the kids!

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I never knew how much I wanted my own children until I saw how much Jeremiah loved his. It is a love that is indescribable, now that I am not only a Stepmother to these wonderful people but also a Mother to my own Son.  I will say that being a Mom is who I am and I am so thankful to be so blessed.

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